rilezzzzzz

That’s so dramatic but its true. So I failed. That’s the update on my life is I am failing at living right now. I had the lowest GPA of my college career with one A, three Cs, one D and one F. Not as horrible as I had thought it would be but whatever. So I failed. Due to my low grades I have to push my student teaching back a semester to retake those courses and finish my degree at a slower pace. I’m ok with it now. I told my dad. He was not happy about it but he was as supportive as he could be. I failed him but he stills me so that’s ok. Have yet to talk to my mother. As you can tell from her title I’m not that close to her. Idk. I’m ok with it all now. But! The reason I’m writing is to announce I start therapy tomorrow. I’m going to a new Christian counselor (I say new because I saw a different, less effective one in Bettendorf a few summers ago) who has her office in a church basement and she sounds like she’s a thousand years old on the phone. Idk how well this is gonna work but ill try it. God is great and I know He has a plan in all of this even when I feel lost.

Here’s a fun one for ya. I’m talking to two new guys..one with legit bf potential and the other who I just know from goi g out but he also went to my hs. Idk. I shouldn’t be flirting while in my condition probably……idk. either its summer, I’m 20, and having fun. Idk.

God is great. And I’m definitely lost right now….lets just say failing out of college and all my extra curricular activities was not in the plan. Having to have a friend call the police for self harm watch wasn’t in the plan either. Lets just say the plan is fucked at this point.

My existence on this earth is not to please others, achieve their approval, or fulfill their definitions of success. I am so much more than that.